Emotional breakdowns can become all too common during the preteen and teen years. We all recognize the signs: tears, anger, blow-ups, heightened sensitivity, running to their rooms and slamming the door.

Whether the cause is hormones, family or relationship issues or fragile self-esteem, we can all agree that they are unpleasant (for everyone). Emotional breakdowns refer to a combination of feelings such as stress, anxiety, overwhelm, exhaustion, and depression.

So what is the best way to help a girl who is having a meltdown? I have asked this question of hundreds of girls and here is what they say:

•Let me be (unless I am hurting myself or someone else).

•I need to get it out.

•Ask me what I need afterward (when I am calm). I will tell you.

•Don’t ask me “why” because most of the time I will not know, and if I do I may not want to talk about it.

•Show me how to handle my emotions by role-modeling this for me.

Parent Tips:

1. Stay calm during your daughter’s breakdown. It will pass. When you can hold onto your “calm place” you are better able to handle any stressful situation.

2.If you slip up (which we all do) it’s okay. Talk to your daughter about your behavior and what you would like to have done differently. (Get it? You are role-modeling here.)

Emotions are scary when you don’t understand them, so please parents work on understanding your own emotions so you can help your children. This is a process which starts with self-reflection and authenticity.

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Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.