We often hear the phrase “Killing Them with Kindness” as a suggestion when dealing with difficult people. It’s a well-meant suggestion but does it work?

Over the years I have done a lot of research on this topic. My conclusion is no, it does not work – meaning the person realizes the error of their ways, apologizes and backs off.

Whether you are a child and you are being picked on or you are an adult and you are being mistreated, difficult people can be a source of great struggle and emotional pain.

Here are some suggestions that do tend to work when dealing with rude or bullying behavior.

• Hold your head high. Call the person out on their rude/hurtful behavior (a brave thing to do). For example, you could say “I can’t believe you just said that to me” and walk away.

• Try a simple response such as “I don’t care what you think.” I recommend this for kids being picked on.

• Kill them with strength – your inner strength. Remind yourself that you do not deserve to be treated this way. Do not keep quiet or isolate yourself. Share with trusted others. Reach out for support.

Coaching girls and women through difficult relationships and situations is a specialty area of mine. I am here to support you.

 

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Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.