It’s that time again! Depending on where you live, the new school year may have just begun or it will be soon. Help your daughter feel ready for school – emotionally – so she can start the year with a sense of confidence and self-awareness.

7 Tips for Getting Girls “Emotionally” Ready for School

1. Ask her how she feels about school starting. Remember that open-ended questions get longer answers.

2. Listen to her. No really, LISTEN to what she says.

•Give it a few minutes before you respond… or don’t respond (that day).
•You will likely need time to process her response.
•It is your job to weed through the “important” answers from the “unimportant” ones.
•Part of what is so helpful to a girl is to hear herself verbalize her feelings.
•Remember, ultimately it will be her job to understand herself, her emotions and her choices.

3. Ask another open-ended question such as “Is there anything that feels scary or yucky about going back to school?” Depending on her age, you get the idea. Keep probing – gently.

4. Validate her feelings. This is VERY, VERY important. Her feelings are never wrong. They just are!

5. Don’t criticize, laugh or minimize her feelings (even if they seem silly to you) as they are likely pretty important to her. If she feels mocked, she will make a mental note to not share with you anymore. You don’t want this to happen.

6. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her. She might have a suggestion such as being able to go and visit the school before it starts (especially if she is going to a new school). As girls move to middle school and high school, many can feel intimidated by the size of the school and being with so many upper classmates.

7. Keep the conversation going. Circle back to some of the above after a few days to see if anything new has come to her after she’s had an opportunity to think about your questions.

If you hear anything that you find concerning, please feel free to reach out to me. I can help to validate whether or not the issue needs something other than a loving parent’s support.

Whether this is a happy time for you or a sad one, I wish you well on this year’s school journey.

 

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Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.