Assertiveness is a characteristic of communication that can sometimes be misunderstood. Some may think of it as being bossy, power-hungry, or always wanting to get your way, but it doesn’t mean those things at all. To be assertive means that you’re not afraid to express your needs and your differences in your relationships. It can be difficult for women, particularly because we live in a conflict-avoidant culture, but developing this trait can help you find your strength and have peace. Here are 3 ways to improve your assertiveness:

1. Make the Decision to Be More Assertive

If you find yourself being stepped on or taken advantage of and often feel resentful toward other people, these are signs that you need to take a stand.. Becoming assertive is a process, and the first step is to make a conscious decision to be strong and communicate your needs to others. [pullquote]Becoming assertive is a process, and the first step is to make a conscious decision to be strong and communicate your needs to others.[/pullquote]

2. Be Solution-Minded

To be assertive doesn’t mean you’re looking for a fight or wanting to stir up contention. Instead, it means that you are able to acknowledge conflict in a way that is seeking a solution to a problem. For example, if your significant other said something that deeply hurt you, you may bring up the topic not to be vindictive but instead as a way to work through what happened, then hopefully make amends and become even closer.

3. Practice, Practice, Practice!

Being an assertive woman takes time and practice! You may be surprised at how many opportunities you have to be assertive. We’ve often been conditioned to just “let it go” and turn the other cheek when someone is unkind to us or treats us unfairly. And while it is wise to “choose our battles,” if someone mistreats you or says something that truly bothers you, you have a chance to flex that assertiveness muscle. Yes it can be scary and even painful sometimes, but learning to stand up for your own needs is one of the best gifts you can give yourself!
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Empowering Families By Strengthening Girls & Women
At Warrenton Women’s Counseling Center, we work with girls of all ages (teenagers, adult women, mothers, and daughters). Our work is done face-to-face, online, or via phone. We would love to hear from you.
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