Part of being human is experiencing emotion, or having those inner feelings about our relationships, our jobs, ourselves, and every other part of our lives. Many women and girls seem to struggle when it comes to emotional overload. How are we supposed to cope with strong feelings like anger, frustration, and grief? How do we stay in control even with powerful (and sometimes overwhelming) experiences? Here are some strategies to manage your own emotions: 

• Identify What You’re Feeling
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  The first step is to simply give a name to your emotion. Are you feeling nervous? Depressed? Embarrassed? Increase your emotional vocabulary by familiarizing yourself with the six basic human emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. Even just practicing some mindfulness (giving yourself permission to feel your emotions) and naming your feelings lessens their power over you. For example, if you perform poorly on a test or bomb a job interview, saying to yourself, “I feel disappointed and ashamed” can help alleviate the intensity of the feeling.
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• Push the Pause Button [pullquote]The key difference between responding and reacting is that when you respond, you are making a choice.[/pullquote] s
  Sometimes, intense emotions can cause us to act impulsively in ways that we may later regret. Whether it’s making a large purchase that we cannot afford as a way to soothe ourselves after a painful experience or yelling at a loved one in the middle of a heated fight, unchecked emotions can get the better of us if we allow them to. If an intense emotion causes you to desire to act suddenly, take a deep breath and collect yourself. You do not have to “resolve” the issue immediately; instead, give yourself some time. 
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• Think Through Your Options
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  Emotions are a powerful part of our decision-making process, but they should not be the only thing we take into account. If you’ve given yourself some time to calm down, you can begin to consider what choice you’d like to make. For example, if you’re angry that someone was unkind to you, instead of lashing out, make the effort to think through your options. Maybe you need to have a separate conversation with that person later. Maybe you should write him/ her a letter or talk to the person on the phone.
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• Respond (Don’t React!)
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  The key difference between responding and reacting is that when you respond, you are making a choice. Often, in intense situations, our immediate reaction is not necessarily the wisest one, so really thinking about what decision is best before acting on it can be beneficial. I certainly don’t suggest that you ignore your emotions or what your heart may be telling you to do, but take it into consideration along with rational thought in order to decide what choice is best in the long run.
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Emotions are very tricky for kids and adults alike! Sometimes, even with the best management skills, they can get to be too much to handle on our own. If you’re feeling some emotional overload that seems to be weighing you down, consider contacting us today so that we can help. 
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Empowering Families By Strengthening Girls & Women
At Warrenton Women’s Counseling Center, we work with girls of all ages (teenagers, adult women, mothers, and daughters). Our work is done face-to-face, online, or via phone. We would love to hear from you.
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